Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Condom Versi Ciggarette!

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel : You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

Lawak PCK

Phua Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable?

PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?

PCK : Of course woman lah! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped?

PCK : Ai-yah! Say, you walk along the load(road), den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not? Ehhh? Don't pray pray ah...

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?

PCK : Oy!! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah! use your Blain(brain), use your blainnn....

Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love?

PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not? Not the same shiok feeling mah... Corlight (correct) or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private?

PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn.... you go and dig your nose inflont of your whole class izzit? stupid

Aloy : Wah...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.

PCK : Aiyah...... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also ah!!